FOUR DAY SEMINAR RESULTS IN BETTER DEALING WITH CONFLICT
Conflicts and confrontations are a common part of life. For most of us, however, handling a conflict or confrontation “well” is, unfortunately, uncommon. Learning new skills that will result in a positive outcome–for all those involved in a conflict or confrontation–is therefore advantageous to all of us.
To effectively learn how to handle conflicts and confrontations, 20 staff and residents of the Gospel Rescue Mission had the rare and valuable opportunity to receive 16 hours of training that spanned over a 4 day period in February. This amazing opportunity was graciously and freely provided by Robert and Barbara Henderson, owners of Henderson’s Lineup. Robert and Barbara are new trainers for the acclaimed program by VitalSmarts called Crucial Confrontations. This training is used by over 500 major businesses, companies and medical facilities.
Robert and Barbara presented the Crucial Confrontations skills and tools through an array of challenging, helpful truths. They used DVDs, workbooks and group exercises to re-enforce these new skills. We were challenged not to tell ourselves ugly stories (that is, see a situation in the worst possible way or assume the most negative motives to those in conflict with us). Also taught was the absolute necessity to establish a climate that allows the person you are confronting to feel safe in discussing the issue with you. One important lesson was to distinguish between “motivation and ability”—to know if someone is simply not motivated to complete a task or that person does not have the ability.
Statements such as “An ounce of insight is worth a pound of power” taught us that change is more easily and effectively brought about by clearly explaining and showing the reasons for the change as opposed to just demanding it. For example, there is wisdom for the parent to first try to show the good reasons for the child to do what the parent asks rather than saying “Do it because I said so!” Explaining the natural consequences–both good and bad–is much more influential and healthy than making threats. Much of the material was set in the corporate world but reflected many basic principle of God’s truth.
A monthly review with the Hendersons will help us maintain and improve our abilities to manage conflict. For the residents, it will enable them to work well in their future employment and in their personal relationships. We rejoice that such a program was made available to us here at the Mission. Thanks Robert and Barbara!